Everything all at once
I ran out of words.
The last few weeks have been one adrenaline dump after another and it shows. First, we got news of the Roe v. Wade opinion. For those of you in safe states, that doesn’t just mean that I or my kid will have limited abortion access. We already have that because the state has made it so hostile for abortion providers to exist. It means that women will be dying at much higher rates, not just from botched abortions, but from pregnancy complications that kill them while medical professionals watch because they can be arrested if they perform an abortion for any reason. It means many kinds of birth control may be outlawed. My students are stockpiling day after pills in case they get raped. That’s how bad it is here. It’s that bad.
Then the shooting in Uvalde happened (among several other high-profile massacres). Uvalde is about 90 miles from where I live. I undoubtedly have students from the community who are traumatized beyond belief.
As a parent, I have to compartmentalize shit like this because if I ruminate on the horrible ways my kid could die, I lose my mind and my ability to parent. But this one just didn’t work that way. Every day more horrific details come out. Every time I go on Twitter I see something that sends my brain into trauma shutdown. It’s really fucking different when it’s in your backyard, and it’s in a school in a state where anyone can buy a gun, ammo, and ballistic clothing for any reason. The list of horrors is endless but includes the 10 policemen that hung out for an hour while the kids and teachers were being murdered (but arresting parents who made a fuss). The kids calling 911 from the classroom while they were being shot while the cops outside did nothing. The state government attending the NRA conference and spouting bullshit about prayer and mental health being the problem instead of ALL THE FUCKING GUNS. One parent was arrested by the police, who wouldn’t confront the shooter and blamed the dead teachers for leaving the door open (which they did not). She got away, got into the school, and walked her kids out. I hope she runs for office because she has my vote.
More shootings. My husband had a cancer biopsy that came back positive, but for a non-invasive wait and see thing. This was not fun during a couple of weeks when my trauma levels were already intolerable. It wasn't much fun for him either.
I don’t have a real coherent set of thoughts to put together because these issues are so earth-shakingly, democracy-destroyingly huge that I can’t find a narrow enough beam to focus on and have a good rant.
The democratic majority in the government could do myriad things to fix all of this shit - assault rifle bans and buybacks, signing the Equal Rights Amendment into law, voter protection to counteract all the fuckery going on in red-state legislatures. They could do so much, and instead, they’re letting themselves be hamstrung by their own cowardice, a kook, and a coal toadie who doesn’t want to end the filibuster. Instead, they’re telling us to vote while allowing the Republicans to pass voter suppression laws and other shady shit that makes it less likely that our elections will hold. I did vote, motherfuckers. We voted you into office in a majority. Do something.